


Leave the door ajar

by merle_p



Category: Brothers & Sisters
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-23
Updated: 2007-11-23
Packaged: 2017-10-06 18:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merle_p/pseuds/merle_p
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wonders what he has been thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave the door ajar

**Author's Note:**

> Written November 2007.  
> Spoilers for the whole second season up to 2.07.  
> Brothers &amp; Sisters belongs to ABC.

The door to the bedroom is closed, muffling Kevin's voice, but when Scotty concentrates, he can hear him anyway.

"I miss you. Call me back." Then silence.

So Kevin couldn't get hold of Jason. Again. Which means that the door will stay closed for a while, and when Kevin eventually will come out, his eyes will be slightly puffy and red, and tonight, he'll drink. Even more so than usual.

Kevin may think that Scotty doesn't notice, but he isn't stupid. He kind of _lives_ here. By now, he knows how to read the signs, knows what to expect.

 

He wonders what he has been thinking, accepting Kevin's offer to move in with him. Why he is staying with Kevin, of all people.

The truth is: Scotty doesn't have that many friends these days. At least not the kind of friends who let you sleep at their place when you're broke. There are a few who'd probably let him crash a night or two at their place in exchange for sex; others would want him to pay half the rent.

Nothing that Scotty is willing – or able – to provide.

Kevin, however, simply pulled out a few blankets, made room in his closet and showed him the remote. He doesn't leave him money, thank God, but there's always something in the fridge, and when Scotty runs out of conditioner, a new bottle appears out of nowhere.

Scotty thinks he understands now that this isn't Kevin being condescending, it's Kevin being Kevin. If you are lucky enough to be one of the few people he actually cares about, he'll do almost anything for you. And Scotty seems to be one of them, even if he still doesn't really understand why.

 

Not for the first time, Scotty contemplates just opening that door, walking over to where Kevin sits on his bed, taking the phone out of his hand and going on his knees.

He can see himself running hands over soft, white skin, his fingers combing through dark, curly hair, palming Kevin through the thin fabric of his light blue boxer shorts before he pulls them down.

He's done that before. He could do it again.

Make Kevin forget about the man who could have it all – Kevin's heart, soul, body – and still is somewhere far away and doesn't even bother to answer his phone. Jason McCallister is a man of God, he should know better than to commit sacrilege. And not taking what Kevin Walker is offering willingly is one, that's for sure.

 

It's not that Scotty begrudges Kevin being in love. Being happy.

The problem is, Kevin obviously _isn't_ happy at all. And maybe Scotty still has a crush on him. But then, who doesn't? It's like this with Kevin – people might be mad at him or feel hurt or even think that they might be better off not knowing him at all, but at the same time they are still a little bit in love with him. Even his siblings are kind of doting on him. And Scotty – well, yeah.

Scotty and Kevin are like the moth and the candle, though Scotty is never completely sure who's who.

***

Kevin considers hurling the phone. Decides against it, puts it down on the night stand. Rubs his hands over his face.

He misses Jason, and hates him for it. Hates _himself_ for it. There are things he wants to talk about: The weekend with Justin, his fight with Saul, and how he even talks to Robert now, about ties and workouts and other random things, as long as it isn't politics.

He wants to tell Jason those things, ask him for advice, but all he gets is his voice-mail, and it's almost funny that his relationship with Jason turns out to be just like his relationship with God – you need them, but they never call you back.

 

The apartment is silent. No sounds are coming through the closed bedroom door, although he knows that Scotty is in the next room, sprawled out on his mattress, reading. Wearing his glasses, and it's strange, but Kevin can't remember him ever wearing those when they were together. Did he simply not notice? Did Scotty not want him to know?

He wonders what he has been thinking, offering Scotty to stay at his place. The thing is: He needs someone to keep him sane. Someone who is not his family. Someone who appreciates what he has to give – even if it's just a deflatable mattress and a spare toothbrush over the sink.

 

Suddenly, he thinks about just opening that door and walking over, taking the glasses off of Scotty's nose, pushing him down onto the mattress.

He would sneak his hands under the waistband of his sweatpants and pull them down. Would kiss a trail down Scotty's spine, lower and lower, would open him up with his tongue, his fingers.

He's done that before. He could do it again.

And Scotty would let him – would even be grateful, maybe. The sex was never a problem between them.

 

And it's not that he isn't in love with Jason. He is, embarrassingly so.

The problem is: Jason is not _here_, he's far away, in every possible sense, and Kevin isn't sure anymore that he knows him at all. Maybe Jason isn't real. Maybe being in love with him isn't real, just a fantasy or a plot line in one of Chad's soap operas.

Scotty, however, is here, within his reach. He leaves his cookbooks on the couch and brings weirdly colored flowers to put on the table, and their CDs somehow got mixed up, but the strange thing is that it doesn't even bother him.

Because it's familiar, because Scotty is familiar, in a way that fits into his path of life like a stumbling block that belongs there.

They might be opposites in many things, but he's beginning to suspect that maybe with their history of failed relationships, of disappointments, of doubting themselves, they understand each other in a way a man like Jason never could.

***

When Kevin emerges from the bedroom, Scotty is in the kitchen, doing the dishes.

He looks up, raises his hands, covered in foam, and Kevin stares back. Looks like there's something he wants to say, but he keeps silent and just watches the foam dripping from Scotty's forearms slowly back into the sink.

"So", Scotty clears his throat, "are you hungry? I could make us dinner."

Kevin gives him a half-smile, shrugs. "Aren't you fed up with cooking yet? We can just order something, you know."

Scotty stares over his shoulder. Catches a glimpse of Kevin's bedroom through the now open door.

"Okay", he says, his eyes returning to Kevin's face. "No Asian food, though."

Kevin doesn't blink. "Great", he says, smiling. "Italian is fine by me."


End file.
